What Is Your Parenting Style?
Warmth, rules and how you hold them together on an ordinary Tuesday evening
In the 1960s the psychologist Diana Baumrind watched how parents dealt with their preschool children and noticed three recurring patterns: parents who were warm and firm at once, parents who were firm without much warmth, and parents who were warm with very few limits. Sixty years and thousands of studies later, those three patterns are still the backbone of research on parenting. Almost nobody is a pure type. This test shows how much of each you bring home.
Before you start There are no right answers. Pick what is usually true for you, not what sounds best.
If you are a parent or regularly look after a child, answer about what you actually do on ordinary days, including the tired ones. If not, you can answer about how you think you would be - but read the result more lightly.
What it measures
The three global styles of the Parenting Styles and Dimensions Questionnaire: authoritative (warm, responsive, clear limits explained with reasons), authoritarian (strict control with little explanation or warmth) and permissive (warm, with few demands or consistent limits). Each is scored separately, because most parents use all three depending on the day.
Based on: Baumrind's parenting typology (Baumrind, 1966; Maccoby & Martin, 1983) and the Parenting Styles and Dimensions Questionnaire (Robinson, Mandleco, Olsen & Hart, 1995)
Possible results
Authoritative
Warmth and firm limits together, with reasons given and the child's view heard.
Authoritarian
Strict control, obedience expected, and punishment or pressure rather than explanation.
Permissive
Warmth with few demands, limits that bend, and consequences that do not always follow.
Common questions
What is the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting?
Both set firm rules, which is why the English names are so easily confused. The difference is warmth and reasons: authoritative parents explain their limits, listen to the child's view and stay affectionate while enforcing, while authoritarian parents expect obedience for its own sake. Same firmness, very different emotional climate.
Is there a fourth parenting style?
Yes. In 1983 Maccoby and Martin reorganised Baumrind's types along two axes, responsiveness and demandingness, which produced a fourth combination: low on both, usually called uninvolved or neglectful. It is not measured here because the questionnaire this test is adapted from covers only the original three, and self-report is a poor way to capture disengagement.
Does parenting style really determine how children turn out?
Much less than parenting books suggest. The links are real but modest, and they run both ways: a child's temperament shapes how parents behave as much as the reverse. Genes, school, friends and luck all matter. What the research supports is that warmth plus predictable limits gives children a better starting point, not a guaranteed result.
Sources
- Baumrind, D. (1966). Effects of authoritative parental control on child behavior. Child Development. doi:10.2307/1126611
- Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction. In P. H. Mussen & E. M. Hetherington (Eds.), Handbook of Child Psychology, Vol. 4 (Wiley).
- Robinson, C. C., Mandleco, B., Olsen, S. F., & Hart, C. H. (1995). Authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting practices: Development of a new measure. Psychological Reports. doi:10.2466/pr0.1995.77.3.819
An honest note This is not a judgement of you as a parent. The items are Quinthea's own wording, adapted from the Parenting Styles and Dimensions Questionnaire, so scores are not comparable to the published norms. Most of this research comes from Western middle-class families, and how strict control affects children varies by culture. The fourth, uninvolved style described by Maccoby and Martin is not measured. If parenting feels overwhelming, a family doctor or parenting service can help.